When your thoughts stopped buzzing around, when you suddenly wake up and take a good look at you, when you realise that all your dreams and hopes faded in the past, that all your friends are so far away and you've ended up watching soap operas, then you find yourself saying the only word that fits you best : LOOSER.
What happened yo you? when? how? 5 minutes ago you thought that you have it all, that you have an well-organized life, that you are independent, hard working, stongly anchored in the daily routine that you so wrongly assumed it was your succesfull life. And then you suddenly realise that you're nothing but a couch potatoe, living in a perpetuous lie, an assumed lie that stands for what you like to call "life". How ridiculous it sounds now that you are awake ! And how cruel...
You see now the truth that lies behind and almost refuse to believe it. Although you know that these few minutes of consciousness are more real that everything else that you wanted to believe in...